En dérangement

—Et ça, ça va où ?

—Chais pas… Dans ton…

—Pardon ?

—Rhoo, ça va…

—Je t’aide à ranger ton bazar, tu vas me faire le plaisir d’être polie…

—Oui…

—Oui qui ?

—Oui m’sieur…

—Mouais, c’est mieux… Donc, ça va où ?

—Mets-le dans le sac, là…

—Avec le reste ?

—Oui, je ferai le tri…

—Dis donc, Julie…

—Oui mon amooooour ?

—Ton idée du rangement, c’est juste de transférer le bazar d’un endroit à l’autre ?

—Oh ! T’abuses… Je consolide le bazar, puis je ferai le tri.

—Ah oui ? Quand ça ?

—Un jour.

—Un jour ?

—Un jour prochain, oui

—Demain.

—Oh, tu sais, y a pas urg—

—Demain.

—Non, s’il te plait…

—Pas de discussion.

—Mais…

—Pas de mais non plus.

—J’ai pas envie.

—Et ?

—Bah ça devrait compter pour quelque chose, non ?

—Euh… Non. Si on attendait que tu aies envie de ranger ton bazar ben… Ben on en serait ou on en est aujourd’hui, en fait, à y passer la journée.

—T’abuses…

—Ah oui ?

—Oui, on a commencé hier…

—Tu ne t’aides pas vraiment, tu sais…

—Des points pour l’honnêteté ?

—Non.

—Pffff, t’es vraiment pas marrant.

—Non. Et ça ?

—Dans l’sac…

—T’es sure ? C’est dans un état…

—Bah pourquoi tu m’demande si tu t’en fiches, de mon avis ?

—Julie…

—Quoi ?

—Change de ton.

—Bah non mais c’est vrai !

—Stop.

—Non, c’est pas juste.

—Julie, je te préviens.

—Bah préviens, vas-y…

Sans un mot de plus, il la tire en travers de ses genoux, jupe retroussée. Elle ne proteste pas. Sa culotte descend. Elle ne s’excuse pas. Elle est têtue, voilà, et le rangement, elle n’aime pas ça. Les claques commencent à tomber et, malgré la douleur, elle a un petit sourire. Elle a bien le droit, c’est sa pause.

La disparition

(in English below)

Depuis le début du confinement, ils ont un système. Il a bien fallu, parce qu’au début, ça ne marchait pas. Dans les pieds l’un de l’autre toute la journée, c’était pas possible. Au bout d’une semaine, elle en était à trois, voire quatre fessées par jour. Ça ne laissait pas beaucoup de temps pour les réunions Zoom, ça, et franchement, ses fesses avaient un peu de mal à suivre. Et elles avaient mal tout court, aussi.

Donc, le système. Au lieu de passer à la proverbiale casserole tout de suite, il lui fait noter ses bêtises dans un petit carnet qu’ils laissent sur la table basse du salon. Ça donne quelque chose comme ça :

Lundi – 9h25 – lâché un ‘p*tain’ quand j’ai renversé mon café sur le bureau.

(Il n’aime pas les gros mots.)

Mardi – 10h40 – Dansé seins nus derrière son ordi portable pendant sa téléréunion avec le patron

(Il aime ses seins, mais là, il est au boulot.)

Mardi – 16h – fait la tête et refusé de lui parler jusqu’au diner parce qu’il ne voulait pas que je fasse des lasagnes pour le quatre-heure, mais honnêtement c’est vraiment [gribouillis illisibles]  

(ne pas garder la ligne, c’est une chose, mais se comporter comme une gamine capricieuse, c’est non)

Jeudi – 14h03 – Gribouillé un zizi dans le Grand Carnet de Punition Très Important

(Franchement ?!)

Arrivés en fin de semaine, ils font les comptes, et, si besoin, elle est punie. Jusqu’à présent, il y a eu besoin. Il se demande même si elle n’en profite pas un peu, la miss. Au final, une grosse punition, c’est sans doute moins que le cumul dans la semaine. Mais au moins, il peut lui faire rendre des comptes et, petit à petit, il y a moins de choses dans le carnet. Ou des choses moins sérieuses, au moins.

Cette semaine, cependant… Ce n’était pas une bonne semaine. C’est les nerfs, ça, et la pluie. Rester isolée, ça ne lui réussit pas, mais alors pas du tout. Bah ouais. Elle était grognon, là, elle l’avoue, c’est bon ? Pffff.

Il s’assoit sur le canapé pour faire les comptes. Pas de carnet. Sur le meuble télé, peut-être ? Elle ne sait pas, elle ne l’a pas vu. La dernière vois qu’elle l’a utilisé ? Bof, il y a deux semaines, peut être ? Sourire innocent. Sérieusement ? Peut-être hier… Oui elle l’a remis sur la table. Non, elle ne l’a pas caché. Elle n’oserait pas, voyons, quelle idée… Ce manque de confiance, alors, c’est consternant. Non, elle ne se moque pas. Non, non, elle ne prend pas ce ton moqueur exprès. Oui-oui, elle arrête tout-de-suite-sinon-ça -va-barder. Oui m’sieur.

Il fait le tour du salon, de la cuisine, pas de carnet. Il commence à perdre patience. Ils avaient un système ; si elle préfère les punitions instantanées, elle peut le dire ! Pas sur que ses fesses apprécient, mais c’est toujours une option ! Elle boude. Non, elle ne veut pas de fessées tous les jours, mais elle ne l’a pas, son fou… fichu carnet. De toute façon, il sait très bien ce qu’il y a dedans, non ?

Il le sait. Et c’est pas joli-joli… Mais il veut faire les choses correctement. Alors elle va chercher le carnet, elle a cinq minutes, après ça il va chercher le paddle, et elle ne va pas aimer ce qui va suivre.

—Mais je l’ai pas ton carnet, putain !

Elle se couvre la bouche des deux mains, les yeux écarquillés. Oh non. Oh non non non non… C’est sorti tout seul. Elle est stressée. Elle est désolée. Elle… Elle…

Elle est penchée sur le bureau, des larmes plein les joues. Ses fesses sont cramoisies, brulantes, douloureuses. Elle serre les dents quand un autre coup de paddle ajoute à sa douleur. Elle pleure. Elle est désolée, elle ne sait pas ce qu’elle a. Elle fera des efforts, promis. S’il te plait ? Il fait une pause. Elle souffle. Elle a les yeux fixés sur le bureau. Elle essaye de trouver quelque chose pour la distraire de l’incendie de sa croupe. Il n’y a rien. Des papier, des stylos, un carnet, un ordi… Un carnet ? Non mais… Il se fiche d’elle ?

Elle se relève, le carnet à la main. Et c’est quoi ça ? Ce serait pas le divin carnet ? Ah oui, il l’avait pris hier soir pour jeter un œil. Ah bah il est gonflé, le monsieur. Oui, oui, elle devait être punie mais il a fait fort là, non ? Et il l’a accusée pour rien ? Franchement, c’est pas juste.

Ah non, non, les bisous ça suffit pas ! Il se prend pour qui ? Ça, c’est un mois d’amnistie, minimum. Bon, une semaine ? Quatre jours, okay. Mais s’il le perd encore, c’est elle qui brandira le paddle, non mais oh…

Since the start of lockdown, they have a system. They had to because at the start of it, things just didn’t work. In each other’s way all day, it just wasn’t doing it. After a week, she was getting three or even four spankings a day. It didn’t leave much time for Zoom meetings and, honestly, her bottom was having trouble keeping up.

Thus, the system. Instead of getting it there and then, he asks her to write all her misbehaviours in a little notebook that they leave on the living room’s table. It goes a little like this:

Monday – 9:25am – said ‘f*ck’ when I spilled my coffee all over the desk

(He doesn’t like rude words)

Tuesday – 10:40am – Danced topless behind his laptop as he was having an online meeting with his boss

(he likes her breasts, but he’s working)

Tuesday – 4pm – sulked and refused to talk to him until dinner because he wouldn’t let me make lasagne for an afternoon snack, but frankly that’s [illegible scribbles]

(not keeping to the diet is one thing, but acting like a wilful brat is a no-no)

Thursday – 2:03pm – Scribbled a willy in the Big Big Very Important Punishment Notebook

(Honestly?!)

At the end of the week, they tally it up and, if needs be, she gets punished. So far, she’s needed it. He even wonders if she doesn’t do a little of it on purpose. After all, one big punishment is still probably less than the sum of all of her misbehaviours in the week. But at least he can hold her accountable and, little by little, there are less things in the notebook. Or less serious things, at least.

This week however… It wasn’t a good week. It must be nerves. And the rain. Being isolated doesn’t become her, not at all. Yeah, she was grumpy, so? She admits it, all right? Pffft.

He sits on the sofa to make the tally. No notebook. On the TV stand perhaps? She doesn’t know, she hasn’t seen it. Last time she saw it? Meh, two weeks ago maybe? Innocent smile. Honestly? Maybe yesterday… Yes, she put it back on the table. No, she didn’t hide it. She wouldn’t dare, of course… That lack of trust is just appalling… No, she’s not being funny. No, no, that mocking tone isn’t on purpose. Yes, yes, she stops it right now or-else-she’s-going-to-regret-it. Yes, Sir.

He goes around the living room, around the kitchen, no notebook. He’s starting to lose patience. They had a system; if she prefers instant punishments, she just has to say! Not sure her bottom would like it, but it’s always been an option! She sulks. No, she doesn’t want daily spankings, but she doesn’t have his fu… fudging notebook. Anyway, he knows what’s in it, doesn’t he?

He knows. But he wants to do things fairly. Thus, she will get the notebook; she’s got five minutes, then he’s going to get the paddle, and she won’t like what is going to follow.

“But I don’t have your damn notebook, for fuck’s sake!”

She covers her mouth with both her hands, eyes wide. Oh no. Oh no no no no… It just came out. She is stressed. She is sorry. She… She…

She is bent over the desk, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her buttocks are crimson, burning, painful. She grits her teeth when another slam of the paddle adds to her pain. She’s crying. She is sorry; she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her. She will make lots of efforts, she promises. Please? He pauses. She breathes. Her eyes are down, looking at the desk. She tries to find something to distract her from the burning fire in her rump. There isn’t anything. Papers, pens, a notebook, a laptop… A notebook? Is he kidding her?

She gets up, notebook in hand. What’s this? Isn’t it the Holy Notebook? Ah, yeah, he had taken it last night to have a look. Well he’s got some nerve, mister. Yes, yes, she had to be punished, but he went a bit overboard, didn’t he? And he falsely accused her? Honestly, it’s unfair.

Oh no no, kisses aren’t enough! Who does he think he is? It’s a month’s amnesty, at least. Right, a week? Four days, okay. But if he loses it again, she’ll be the one wielding the paddle…

Anticipation

3:35pm

Aaliyah had been waiting all day for him to come back. The waiting only made it worse. He knew it. He knew it very well, and she knew it was part of her punishment. Every time her phone pinged with one of his messages was a reminder of what was coming. Since the morning, he had drip-fed her instructions. She knew better than to argue or try to ignore him. He would be back at five, after work. She would be standing at the door, hands behind her back. Her head would be bowed; she wouldn’t look up; she wasn’t to say a word. She would be naked.

3:52pm

She had felt pitifully relieved that he hadn’t had her wait at the window, like that one time. She didn’t know that a neighbour had stolen a passing glance, but the possibility was enough for her to cover her face in shame every time she thought about it. The punishment that day had kept her straight for a month. Her phone pinged. She was to gather a paddle, a hairbrush, a belt, a wooden spoon, and the riding-crop. He would pick one, or two, or none, but it was best to be prepared. She didn’t like the sound of any of them.

4:10pm

But of course, she had slipped. And she knew she deserved what was coming. She had been mad at herself, and she had made it worse by being mad at him for no reason. He was a very supportive boyfriend, but he had no tolerance for her misdirected anger. She liked that about him; he made her better, more measured. Her phone pinged. He would be home in fifty minutes. She looked at the time. He would be home at five, like he had said. He hadn’t needed to tell her again but, just as he wanted, she felt a pang of fear. And guilt. And anticipation.

4:38pm

The flat was spotless —there was no reason to make it harder for herself. She sat on the sofa, twiddling her thumbs, unable to concentrate on anything. It had been on her mind all day. They had had the argument the night before. He never punished her in anger, that was not really him. He had let her know that they would deal with it the next day. He had kissed her in the morning and told her to be ready for her punishment later today. Then, he had simply left, without scolding or berating her. That would come, in a calm and measured tone, to the sound of his hand battering her poor bottom. She shivered. Fear? Desire? The phone pinged again. She was to get the big piece of ginger from the fridge and get it ready. She moaned as she read the message, passing a hand between her thighs.

4:57pm

She folded her clothes up on the bed, biting her lip, and straightened the covers. All the implements were neatly laid out, as was the ginger. She caught a look of herself in the mirror and blushed. She tip-toed to the door and looked up at the big clock hanging off the wall. Were her hands supposed to be over her head? No, behind her back. I think? He wouldn’t be too pleased if she got it wrong, but she couldn’t go and check her phone, for fear he would come in at that exact moment.

5:00pm

She looked down. The door clicked open, then shut. He put something down. His bag, probably. She dared not look up. He lifted her head with a finger under her chin and kissed her softly.

“Let’s take care of you,” he said.